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Tales from the Korean Side

“Eric! Tell me a story from Korea!” you say. Well, ok.

But first apparently there was some confusion regarding my Philipino wife. Let me clear this up. I don’t have one. It was a joke. That joke made 3 people wonder so I just thought I’d clear that up.

OK, Korea. Well, I teased a couple of stories so I’ll tell one of those. We got there lat on a Sunday night. We went out that night but not for long. We were back on base by 11 PM, I think.

The next night a group of us went out and we all ended up at a place called the Golden Gate Club. Eventually, a Master Sergeant that we’ll call RD showed up. So now there were 5 of us: Me, Cory, Justin, John and RD. For those that don’t know, a Master Sergeant (MSgt) is a pretty high enlisted rank. Not the highest but one that carries some weight to it.

Well, it was getting close to the curfew of midnight when we had to be back on base. So we left the club and started to walk back to base. About 50 yards in front of the gate, a bunch of Korean vendors set up to sell some food to the service members before they go back on base. It’s actually pretty decent food, though I tend to say away from it. My system can’t take a whole lot of it, if you catch my drift.

So the five of us are standing there. RD is in the middle, Cory is to his right and I’m to Cory’s right. I’m standing there while they order and Cory elbows me and has this stunned look on his face and says “Dude, look at this. Can you believe it?” I look over and RD has peed himself down the right side. He’s also wearing sandals with socks. So his right sock is soaked and yellow.

I looked at RD and asked “Did you just pi** yourself?” His response? “Well, yeah. Haven’t you ever had to go really bad?” I didn’t give him the obvious answer that any potty-trained toddler could give him. He went on to do his best Billy Madison imitation. “Hey, it’s cool to pee your pants.”

So we get on base and are waiting on a cab to take us back to where we were staying(the Air Force rocks. Our hotel was great). He goes to get in the cab with us and we tell him “No way in he**. Get another cab Captain Pee-My-Pants.”

So he did and one of the guys waited with him. We found out the next day that while waiting for the next cab, he peed down the other side, so both of his socks were wet and yellow.

Couple of points:

This guy is 54. A year younger than my dad.

He has people who work for him who have to respect him to a small degree. I didn’t respect him much initially for other reasons but that small bit of remaining respect is now gone.

He wasn’t so drunk that he lost control. He was drunk but he chose to pi** himself.


Glad to be home again. More later. Maybe today or tomorrow.

From Korea

I'm in Korea now and can't access my own blog. I can access blogspot so I can post, I just can't view it. I also can't view my little sis's blog who is also with blogspot. Whatever.

We've finished our first week here in Korea and so far I've:

-Seen senior NCO piss himself by choice. He was drunk but still chose. He didn't lose control. He chose to. Not sure which is worse. Being so drunk you can't control your own bodily functions or being so drunk you actually think it's ok to piss your own pants.

-Went to Seoul(4th largest city in the world by population) and saw police in riot gear outside the base. There are lots of demonstrations outside the base in Seoul from moron college students who are still young enough to think they know everything. They want us out.

-Bought bootleg DVDs of Kill Bill 2 and Elf. I'm sure there's some hollywood stuntman or casting agent I'm sending to the poorhouse now.

-Almost got in a 2 on 8 brawl (we were the 2) over the stupidest of reasons. I'll blog more on that later, along with the guy who pissed himself.

-Drank some alcohol. More than I've had in a LONG time. Now, I've not been drunk. I'm a control freak when it comes to my own actions. And when I'm drunk, I tend to do stupid stuff. That's why I haven't been drunk since high school.

-Visited the base I was stationed at for a year in 1993-94. I'd forgotten that the Rec Center on base is the Moyer Rec Center. Was named that way before I ever got there. But I think there were plans to change the name after I left. :-)

-Met a great Philipino girl who I've fallen deeply in love with. We're gonna get married and have 7 kids.

OK, that last one was a lie...we're only having 3.

I'm anxious to see what stories I'll have from the next week.

Oh yeah, I saw Colin Farrell at the Atlanta Airport on the way here. Short dude. About my height.