By popular demand

Hit Me Baby One More Time...
(I haven't gone through and edited this so forgive any misspellings and grammatical errors)

09:01 Show starts. Host is up again. Try to play the crowd a bit.

I missed last week’s. And this one was requested by Kenzie.

First up is Greg Kihn band. I remember playing him on the radio when I was in Korea in the early 90’s (his breakup song was already about 10 years old by then)

09:03 OK, seems like all the artists from the 80’s put on at least 30-40 lbs. Song is ok.

Ah ah, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

OK, he’s kinda yelling the chorus but that’s ok. He’s probably already out of breath.

Ugh, horrible edit after the host asks him a stupid question.

09:06 Club Nuveau is up next. Bonus points to anyone who knows their original name…Timex Social Club! Bet ya didn’t know that one.

They’re playing Lean On Me. It’s their overplayed 80’s station song. But Rumors was so much better.

Anyone remember the spoof song called Roaches taken from Rumors? Probably not

Wow, I expected them to be better. I’m not impressed. They had to be the favorite coming in. They may still win just because this has become one of those “timeless 80’s songs” like the Romantics “What I like about you.” But this performance is weak.

Ever been driving along and hear a horrible sound that sounds like it came from your car? Then you look over and this piece of crap is next to you and you’re grateful because there is no way it is your car instead of this one?

09:09 Commercial break. Glass Tiger is coming up. They have to do “Don’t forget me when I’m gone.”

Flip over to ABC to check out the introductions for game 7 of the NBA championship. Wouldn’t you love to be introduced at work like this?

-Cue smoke machines and laser lights flashing all over-

“He led the office in First Call Resolution, the Service Desk Analyst of the Month, Eric E-Z-E MOYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

09:12 And we are back. Glass Tiger, Playing “Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone.” Man, I love this song. The 80’s songs they do here take me back.

I would beat anyone’s sorry but in 80’s pop culture trivia. If you think you have it, name the challenge.

Wow, this guy’s been more plucked and has more makeup than Cameron Diaz.

09:16 Billy Vera and the Beaters. Did you know that song became big after being played on Family Ties? I did.

I just have a feeling this one will suck. We’ll see.

Well, he’s probably the first to actually be playing an instrument. Wow, he’s doing great.

This lighter is burning my hand now.

He could be the first to do a slow song and win.

09:19 This host needs a bigger beating than the Encyclopedia Britannica guy

Commercial break.

This is a good “reality” type show. But the thing that’s keeping it from being among the premiere ones is it’s lack of what Bill Simmons calls “Unintentional Comedy.”

Hmmm, King Kong

Saw a sneak preview of Land of The Dead on Tuesday. It’s a George Romero movie. He’s got a history of all the zombie movies. It sucked. But really, what can you do with zombie movies anymore? There’s nothing else you can do with zombies. Zombie! The Musical? Been done: Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Do yourself a favor and watch one of his originals.

09:24 Thelma Houston. She’s from before my time. So I probably won’t have a whole lot to add here.

Shoot, I can hum my way through a song. Not impressive.

Go back to those backup singers.

Time for the host who wasn’t born when she was big to ask her a question…

Wow, some hot women in that crowd. I’m gonna find a way to get in to this show.

09:28 This Listerine commercial is STILL on. They’ve been airing it for 4 years now.

09:31 Cover time. Greg Kihn doing Green Day. Singing it like he doesn’t care about anything except the post-show buffet.

He sounds like John Goodman doing the Blues Brothers.

Damn, another hot blonde. Ohio sucks.

OK, picks up the tempo. Better. Making it his own. His son is on guitar. Damn he’s good.

Another shot of the crowd. I hate Ohio.

09:34 Club Nuveau. Um, ok. He wants to start a pro Domino League. Well, be ambitious dude!

Covering Dido. Well, they are obviously making it theirs as much as it can be.

But how much can you really do with a Dido song? It’s already as unique as it’s going to be. It’s tough. Like covering Enya or something.

Wow, she’s afraid of trying the high notes.

Not nearly enough shots of the first row of the crowd. I hate Ohio.

09:37 Commercial break. Over to Game 7. Damn, Robert Horry is something else.

Preview of Matt Lauer interviewing Tom Cruise. Two douchebags but I gotta root for Lauer. Tom Cruise is totally off his rocker. And want a primer on Scientology? Go here. It’s not even worth calling a cult. It’s a financial scam. Heather, if Ashley makes it to LA, make her promise not to buy into that crap.

And does anyone really buy the Cruise-Holmes relationship?

09:41 Glass Tiger. Coerving Vertical Horizon, Everything you want.

Not a good start. Wow, he is sounding even more than gay than he looks…not that there’s anything wrong with that…

His backup singer looks like Fred Armisen of Sat Night Live.

Speaking of, SNL better spoof this in their first episode of the fall. So much material to work with.

OK, after that cover, I have to question if he actually fathered that baby the natural way.

09:44 Billy Vera, doing Ryan Cabrera, True.

Nuts, should have done something he could play the piano with.

Wow, this is bad. He looks as comfortable as if he walked into a rave.

This could be the biggest drop in performance from original hit to cover in the show’s first 4 episodes.

Ooooh! Look! Hablo Espanol!

09:47 Thelma Houston, doing Alicia Key’s falling.

Good start. This is an ambitious cover. But the danger is making it just sound like Alicia is singing it. Will she make this her own? Only time will tell…

…suspense builds…builds…there’s a bit…

Where’s the crowd shots?

OK, thank you…I hate Ohio.

09:50 Well, with that finish and being the last one, I’d give Thelma the edge to win. But no one stood out.

According to the host, we “witnessed 5 mind-blowing performances.” Um, yeah.

Am I wrong to want to kick they guy in the teeth with my steel-toes?

09:54 And we are back…the winner…Thelma gets the most applause. She’s gonna win.

And she did!

Ugh, bad show. If this had been the first one, it would not have hit.