The Dangers of Dating Eric

Below is a document I'm drawing up to show to women before I date them from now on. Think it may be helpful to them (and therefore, me).

Input? Thoughts?

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I, Eric E. Moyer, have created this memo, which is not legally binding, to inform you of some very important things for you to know before you date Eric. This has been created and shared with you for your own protection. If you read and sign the below and end up hurt at the end of the relationship due to anything listed below, it is your own fault. You’ve been warned. I am flawed.

-I enjoy my free time and fiercely protect it.

-Other things, such as playing volleyball, will be placed above you in the pecking order. It just is.

-After approximately 2-4 months, I will grow tired of the relationship. This is not personal since it has no doubt happened to better looking and nicer women than you. It’s just the way I am.

-You will never badmouth one of my friend’s. That’s immediate banishment and I won’t even feel bad about it.

-When something happens to me, you will NOT word your question like this: “How do you feel about this?” Word it differently if you must know. I don’t like being Dr. Phil’d.


Other items may be added above but will be brought to your attention as soon as I know about it. Think carefully before making your decision.


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