If people say torture is wrong, why aren't we banning the ballet?

D asks:
"Question - do you also like big ballet dance numbers (like the Nutcracker)?"

Hell no. Good Lord no. I did the ballet once. One time and I can't imagine what it would take to get me to go again. It should only be something men are taken to as punishment. Any woman who takes her man to the ballet must be mad at him and trying to teach him a lesson. I'd eat a whole bucket full of mecrop before going to another ballet.

Was dating Carolyn at the time and bought tickets to Madam Butterfly. She enjoys the theater etc so I thought it was a good idea.

Be warned. You're about to figure out how horribly uncultured I was (I don't care, though. I'm only slightly more cultured now) and am. We sit down, it starts and it occurs to me..."You mean they don't talk AT ALL? This is gonna suck." And it did. It sucked in ways I didn't think a ballet could suck but apparently I wasn't thinking hard enough. The "dancing" sucked. The story is awful. Just awful. And it couldn't end soon enough. I know I wasn't the only person in there considering jabbing my eyes with a pen. Wish I'd brought my Leatherman so I could have spent the time pulling my fingernails out to distract me from the brutal mess on stage.

True story: I fell asleep during the production, and when I woke up was so convinced that I was still dreaming, I got up onstage and walked around. The odd thing is the show is such an ugly mess that no one seemed to notice or care.

It's the most upsetting experience I've ever had in a theater. The only time the audience applauded was when I whipped a battery at the actors.

Yeaa, it ranked below Red Ships of Spain.