Thinking before speaking...

Ever get the silly relationship pep talk? Is there a phrase more condescending (that means "to talk down to") than "you're a great person! Don't worry, you'll find someone!!" or one of it's many derivatives?

If you know someone who just got out of a relationship, don't say that unless they say "Will I ever find anyone?" And for God's sake, don't say it to a guy. No man worth his salt sits around whining "Will I ever find someone?" unless he's starring in Brokeback Mountain.

I've heard that phrase about 5 times now in the past few days due to a recent breakup, being led on by the same girl and then inexplicably ignored.

Yeah, I'm a bit depressed because I thought a lot of her and she fell short. And yes, it sucks. But I'm not huddled in a corner, in the fetal position, sucking my thumb. Being depressed about the end of a relationship is plenty different from being depressed over thinking I'll never find someone. The first one is ok, the 2nd one is not. It's the people who are so desperate to be in some kind of relationship that end up in the crappy ones and stay in them.

I know I'm a good guy (not the same as saying I think I'm perfect) and I'm not depressed about the fact that I don't have someone. I'm perfectly happy being single and tend to prefer it because I enjoy the freedom. I'm depressed because I thought I'd found a gal that I actually enjoyed spending lots of time with. And anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that it is rare for me to find that.

I know the "you're a great person! Don't worry, you'll find someone!!" is said with good intentions, typically. But think sometime about how condescending it sounds. While too many people are desperate to be in a relationship because...well, that's what "normal" people are supposed to do (when it's possibly the opposite)...I'm perfectly content being single, if that's what the good Lord sees for me.

I don't need the pep talk, seriously.

(rant over)

A special thanks to Ang for offering advice and a shoulder during this time (she's a rock) and never once uttering that phrase. THAT is a good friend.