Monday, July 19, 2004

UPS and the scheme to oppress me

My wonderful sister sent me a gift for my birthday. The company she bought if from uses UPS so Heather told me that I’d be receiving it via UPS soon. Problem is, I’m hardly EVER home, let alone home during the day. So last Thursday they tried to deliver it and, of course, I wasn’t there. So they left me the little note. My neighbor Andrea said I could have it delivered to her place. She just had a baby and would be home all day. So I got online and changed the delivery address.

But they tried to deliver it to my place again on Friday. So this morning, I got online to change the address again. This time to my parents’ place. It wouldn’t let me and had me call their 800 # to change it. So I called.

Conversation:

Eric: I need to get this package to me.

Rep: OK, well, we have it set up to deliver to 5404 Lofino(my neighbor who just had a baby and is at home).

Eric: Well, yeah, they were supposed to but tried to deliver it to my place again. Of course, I wasn't there. Listen, this delivery is a birthday gift and I really need to get it. Can I just waive the signature that is required?

Rep: No, we can't do that.

Eric: Why not?

Rep: Because it's the company policy.

Eric: Well, that doesn't serve me that well.

Rep: I can set it up to have the package held at the delivery station for you to pick up.

Eric: Great. Where is that?

Rep: 1302 Brandt Pike.

Eric: Great, what are their hours?

Rep: 9 AM to 6 PM.

Eric: Great, those are my exact work hours (sarcasm free of charge). Can you have it sent to a delivery station down here, near where I work and I can pick it up during lunch?

Rep: No, sorry. We can't do that.

Eric: Let me guess. Company policy. OK, you see my problem here? I can't stay at home all day to wait for UPS to show up w/ this package. I can't pick it up because you have crappy bankers hours (who does that serve?). Can I have it delivered to work?

Rep: Well, it's already set to go to 5404 Lofino today. What if your neighbor is there and signs for it?

Eric: Well, that would be good for me, wouldn't it?

Rep: I guess. Yes. So do you still want me to have it delivered to your work tomorrow?

Eric: Yes. It's across town, is that ok?

Rep: Sure. We'll just have it sent down to the local delivery station.

Eric: The same one you just couldn't send it to for me to pick it up at?

Rep: Um, yeah. That one.

Eric: Tell me you see the humor in this. Are you sure this isn't a government agency?

Rep: I guess. Yeah. Um, so give me that address…

Company policy is always more important than serving the customer. Isn’t it?

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